Forgiveness
Wednesday, August 26, 2009 at 21:00 All these questions about work, travel. I care not to speak to any of that so I answer drily, offering single word responses wherever I can. My disinterest however is sorely unnoticed as is my presence in his company, the one I came to visit. Not that I'm surprised - it has always been like that and there's no reason to hope for a change now. And yet still I'm peering over my right shoulder into the dimly-lit living room yearning for an inkling of attention. Anything. A mere acknowledgement that I exist maybe? Or maybe that's just a bit much to ask. This thirty year old is reduced to a child.
Anyway, figured it was probably time I said a few words so I knelt to his left, my hand resting softly on his. I could feel the age in his touch and the gesture for some reason triggered emotions of bewilderment and panic, causing him to search the room for familiar faces. Apparently he knew not who I was - not that it mattered really. He had dismissed the very existence of my brothers and I from ever since and we accepted that. Ironic how a decision once deliberate had manifested itself as part of his senile reality.
Eventually he did calm down and his eyes of hazel would thereafter rise to mine, albeit with a sense of caution. Then he stared at me, consciously, for what would be the first time ever. His expression was the very epiphany of childlike innocence; sans ignorance, sans impatience, and sans any and everything negative that I associated him with. And the truth is that I had accepted him for the person that he was for a long time now, and I'm thinking that maybe this was his chance to do likewise. And I think he did.
Reader Comments (1)
This is so powerfully written. Accepting someone for who they are instead of what we long for them to be is such a tough thing to do. For me, especially with my mother and myself. I'm really glad that you had that moment and shared it.
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